It was around Christmas, all I remember is that it was the coldest on record in Detroit area history. I got a phone call from my wife, on this call she asked me to do her a favor. "Please fill a shoebox with horse manure and wrap it in Christmas paper, bring it here to work and put it in the front seat of my car." I asked why? She told me they were playing a joke on one of her friends. So I went out to the barn and got a box of "Horse Apples'.
I really hope it doesn't start!
On my way with the Poop
The Poop was pretty frozen and was easily transferred to the container, I'm reading this and can't believe that without hesitation in -20 below weather, I just dropped everything and did what she asked. (I still do it to this day) Unfortunately, my car started and I drove out to the supermarket where she worked. I really had a tough time finding her car. It was a pretty big parking lot, the employees weren't supposed to park close to the store. I thought since it was so cold, maybe the managers let them park closer.
Sure enough, I finally found it. I parked beside her car and walked up to the drivers side and sure enough, it was locked! I started to panic, it was so cold, so I ran around to all the doors, and then all of a sudden, "put your hands on top of the car, NOW! Push the box with your foot towards me, move any other part of your body and I"ll shoot it off. Officer, can I speak? What's in the box? Is it a bomb of some kind? I said no it's a Christmas present. My wife works here and she asked me to bring it and the doors were locked so I tried all the doors, He said "it looked like a break in to me, now, what's in the box? I said well, it's horse manure. He asked, "you would get yourself shot over a box of horse manure?" You're a moron with a box of manure. Let's go in and meet the wife so we can clear this up!" All the way in the cop was muttering words like, clown, idiot a fry short of a happy meal, and my favorite, manure moron.
Free at last
My lovely wife came over and verified the story, the cop shook his head and let me go. I still don't feel free until this day. I've got lots more for you.
til next time, Please Leave a Comment. Thank You!
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